Monday, March 28, 2011

7 degrees of Blondes



FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should> I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear -:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to> pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and> says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar ; The second blonde says, "Here, let me see So the first blonde hands her the compact The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You> dummy, it's me ; ` ´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:> *´`´*:-,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun,and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to; her head; The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"; The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,..-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.> -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*;


FOURTH DEGREE


A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state> capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead and ask me, I know all of them."; A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,. -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*;


FIFTH DEGREE


What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:; *´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-,_,.-:*


SIXTH DEGREE


Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA; freshman, sat in her US government class. The; professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade; was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said; "That was the decision George Washington had to make; before he crossed the Delaware. `´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,-:*´`´*:-.,_,.; -:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*´`´*:-.,_,.-:*


SEVENTH DEGREE


Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked; to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (P=ef/En

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Tim Hortons



A blonde goes into a Tim Horton's and notices there's A 'roll up the rim' sticker on her coffee cup. So she unfolds it and starts screaming, 'I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!'

The waitress says, 'That's impossible. The biggest prize is car .?'


But the blonde keeps on screaming, 'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'


Finally, the manager comes over and says, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome Because we didn't have that as a prize.

The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motorhome!' And she hands the cup to the Manager and HE reads...


(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS !!!!!! . I PROMISE !)

'W I N A B A G E L'